…to change her name

3

2011/04/15 by Elizabeth

The fact I have already decided I will change my name after we’re married, and become Mrs Sweetpants, is something I’m sure will come as a surprise to most who know me ‘in real life’. And I wouldn’t blame them – to be honest, I’m a little surprised myself.

As previously confessed, getting married is something I never intended to do. And my history of fierce independence would surely suggest that giving up the name I’ve been known by for 32 years would be off the table. But it’s not. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I can’t wait to become Mrs Sweetpants.

Why? Well, there are some ‘traditional’ reasons I suppose –  I want our future family to all have the same name for instance. And some slightly frivolous reasons – I hate my signature. But really, if I’m honest, changing my name is symbolic of much more. It’s symbolic of a new life. A new life without the baggage that’s attached itself to my soon to be maiden name.

Over my 32 years my surname has brought me… what… pain? No, that’s too strong. Inconvenience? That’s closer, but it doesn’t sound quite strong enough… My surname, apart from being a pain in the arse to spell and sign, and for some people, to  say, has history. History that’s not mine, but which has been ever present in my life and shaped my identity in a way I could never control.

Attached to my surname is an unsolved mystery. A missing child. That alone is traumatic. But add to that a small town, and small town gossip, and you have a recipe for an unhappy upbringing. A childhood (and beyond) filled with whispers, rumours, taunting, and fear. And above all, constant questions. Questions that in all likelyhood will never be answered…

So you see, in becoming Mrs Sweetpants, I will be leaving behind more than just a difficult signature. Of course, I realise that everyone I grew up with is not going to instantly forget about my family name and its history. My mother will still have that name, and in some strange way I feel almost guilty about ‘abandoning’ her to it. But what can I do?

This post is a little darker than I’d thought it would be. And for that I apologise. I promise I’ll make up for it with some frivolous scribblings about flowers and table settings soon. But for now, I’m off to practice my new signature.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “…to change her name

  1. Beck says:

    I thought little about changing my name, as there really wasn’t a big reason to and I regretted my hasty actions.

    Nice to see someone doing it as a deliberate and thoughtful action

  2. daveabbott says:

    I thoroughly enjoyed jettisoning that 10 letter monstrosity. As I slowly changed everything over, I remember being completely baffled as to how Ma managed to open a bank account for me – using a name that legally wasn’t mine.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Previous posts

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 4 other followers

Retraction Watch

Tracking retractions as a window into the scientific process

talesbytails

A good story needs telling.

Rebecca The Wrecker

Putting the Orc into awkward

thelilbeanie

pregnancy, motherhood and beyond

The Thesis Whisperer

Just like the horse whisperer - but with more pages

%d bloggers like this: